My sister has been so generous, letting me use her resin molds and supplies and teaching me what she has learned over the years. My favorite thing to do is worry stones! I have been carrying those around with me to church and out and about and it has been so soothing to have something to rub. I often fidget with my fingers, rubbing them together, and when overly anxious, digging my nails into my hands. So, it has been really great to have something so soothing.

I also poured my first (and not last!) set of Dominoes! I used my favorite beachy colors (you’ll see a theme a bit farther down) but for whatever reason, the resin I used didn’t set up well, so they are more malleable than firm. I’ll have to keep at those and try to perfect it because this was SO much fun!!

I made a brain. At one point I was going to try to fill it with flowers and clear resin, but I decided to just try it first to see how it did and I’m pretty happy with it. I am considering finding some flowers to add to it. I will still pour one with flowers in it eventually.

I also poured this starfish or is this a sand dollar? Who knows…well I’m sure some people do…I also keep calling resin vinyl so whatever…I put some little shells in it, but the color I used in the mold made it too dark to see, so you can only see them from the back. This too was too soft…And I can’t find the picture I took of the top of it, but you get the idea…

Here are some jewelry pieces I made with alcohol inks. Some look good and some not so good…and again…they are too malleable. I’m going to try a different kind of resin next time. We were using a 4 hour one and I don’t think it set up right. Well, some of it did. But as it got warmer, it became more difficult and less effective I think.

I made another light switch cover and added some black to the first one I did, because I didn’t consider that with the translucent resin you would be able to see all the wires behind it!

I also played around with just a couple of fidget spinners. The hardware for them is coming tomorrow.

With resin, you only have a certain amount of time to get it into molds before it begins to set itself up. So at the last minute, looking for more molds to use the rest of the resin we had mixed up, and being unable to find my other molds I had used previously for other projects, I went into my shop and found a mold that I got with a Brandon Sanderson Kickstarter. These are called Doom Slugs and they are a great character in his Skyward book series. So I decided to put some color ink into the resin after I poured these and the ink didn’t go all the way down. So they are somewhat translucent at the top, but colorful at the bottom. I will pour these again sometime, but I will likely keep these in my craft room or in our game room with all of our other Brandon Sanderson collectibles.

And last but not least, here are my first attempts at capturing a beach or ocean scene with waves. I will do more of these and work to perfect the technique.

Which one do you like best? I have a lot to learn still in getting the bubbles out. On some pieces, I simply forgot to try to remove the bubbles before curing so they are just stuck in there.

I’ll be adding some of these to my Etsy shop (or I may look into doing this through Buy Me a Coffee alternatively). I know that a hobby like this is hard to make money on and I can’t count on it to replace my income, but I have never not hustled on the side. It is a passion of mine, crafting and creating things that look beautiful and serve a purpose. Granted, most of the above are just beginner, but I do have a habit of perfecting whatever I set my mind to. Though in typing that, I realize that kind of pressure is something that has to be tamped down and balanced, especially right now in this time of resting and recovery.

Jamie

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All day and all night the angels worship, singing Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come. This is, in my estimation, what it means to fear the Lord. It isn’t about trembling in terror, though I imagine if our human minds were to see the actual image of God, His full being, we would in fact be terrified. But deeper than that, fear of God requires a proper view of ourselves. It is bowing down to the authority and magnitude of God. It is surrender of our own desires and passions and realizing that we are worthy of none of the gifts God gives us. And yet, He still gives and gives and gives—and we hold that in one hand while we wrestle ourselves to the ground, so as to really see the truth about who God is and how much He loves us. He prepares a place for us, and I can’t wait to someday see those streets of gold and run free in a body (or without one?) that isn’t filled with pain, physically and emotionally.

So to me, fear of God looks like falling at the feet of Jesus. Clinging to the hem of His robe, knowing that even being in His presence will change our lives. And maybe that is why my second attempt at erasure poetry flowed as it did. Today’s inspiration was taken from the hymn All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name.

Jesus’ Name

Ye chosen...Ye ransomed
Fall at His feet
Let the ransomed join the song
Crown Him, crown Him, crown Him
Lord of all

Sometimes I long for heaven with a desperation I can’t quite explain. The anticipation builds up inside of me and I get chills when I imagine what it will be like. While it is difficult for me to literally and physically kneel down, I dream of a day when I don’t even give my pain a second thought and I can fall down at the feet of Jesus and cry out Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come.

Someone introduced me to this song back in 2020 when the world was locked down, and I return to it often. Is He worthy? He is.

Jamie

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So this is my offering today…a silent defiance to the void that tries to pull me under.

Jamie

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If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

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It isn’t lost on me that as I sit with a late (47-year-old ) diagnosis of both Autism and ADD, the two statements above are actually a perfect example of what it looks like inside the mind of someone who is AuDHD.

ADD

This is like being in a car you’re trying to rev up to 100 miles an hour just because you can or want to with no thought to the consequences.

AUTISM:

This is like keeping the brakes of said engine locked tight, leading to literal burnout patterns on the road, literally stopping in place with extreme abruption.

AuDHD is like wrangling two completely different ways to think and perceive the world around you, while they both independently war against one another for dominance. And anyone who has ever been in Fight Club knows that the number one rule of Fight Club is—say it with me now—

“We don’t talk about Fight Club.”

So a good many people would say, “Oh my gosh, Jamie! Shut up. Stop talking about all of this. Stop claiming to have things that are just popular and all the rage right now. Everyone is neurodivergent in some way, Everyone has the capability to just get up and do it-you just don’t believe in yourself enough. Stop making it all about you. If you think a good many people would not say this, I have heard every single one of these things, all form different voices throughout the last several years as I have fought hard to rewire my brain and allow God to transform my mind. And for so long, I listened to them. I obeyed them without even stopping to question whether it was right or true. I bought into the lie the same way those same people think being safe is just something weak people need, instead of understanding that emotional safety is one of the foundations for a child to thrive.

For an adult to thrive.

For a human to thrive.

Yes, people can and do survive without this every day. But you look at things like homelessness, addiction, mental health decline and you don’t connect that safety was severely lacking in the lives of 90% of people who fall into these categories. Okay, sure I made up that statistic, but not the reality of the root cause of many of these epidemics. God literally created cities of refuge so that someone who inadvertantly caused harm/death to another could flee and find safety. And if God cares deeply about our physicial safety and he brilliantly designed our brains to work in conjunction with our bodies, it isn’t a stretch to think or believe that He also cares deeply about how we steward our minds. And I cannot for one moment believe that it was God’s purpose in creating us to watch us fall apart because we don’t know what it looks like to have relational safety. Sure, not every case can be resolved and healed with safety. But I hope you see what I’m getting at. God didn’t only create our physical bodies. He created mind, body, soul, and spirit, and I believe we have a duty to steward each one of those well and in ways that integrate all the pieces. We cannot simply care for the body and neglect the soul. We cannot support the spirit but completely ignore the mind. All parts of God’s design belong and therefore they must each be accepted, tended to, and stewarded well. I’ll die on this hill.

Taking back what the enemy stole from me requires immense effort and energy and being beyond exhausted it seems to create a problem, right? How can you do one withoiut a well to draw from? I know on the surface it might seem that way. But I think I can look at it differently, and perhaps writing through this will help solidify it. And I am going somewhere with this and I will eventually get to the song!

There is a point here, and to be fair, the first line is a piece from the song… patience, young grasshopper—we are getting there…

(What a ridiculous and inappropriate breakage of many grammatical lines in that sentence. No estrogen, don’t care. Well, I cared enough to be a little self-deprecating and point it out… okay, menopausal brain, back off so I can get through this…)

As my old pastor used to say, I’m throwing that last paragraph in for free.

You are very welcome!

So I am sitting in (and writing from) this place of a million different thoughts flying in a million different directions, and even though I can feel them zooming by at lightning speed—can one even feel lightning speed?—none of them seem to quite land. I reach out my hand to catch one and 60 of them bounce off, as if there is this thick wall around my entire being, preventing my hand from actually making contact. And some of them are flying so fast it seems like they pass straight through my hand while never connecting to it at all.

I wouldn’t say I’m unhinged, but perhaps that’s because I’ve never thought long enough about it to consider it true. Maybe this is me, unhinged. Partial thoughts being strung together vaguely, simply by sheer force of my own will. Okay, upon reflection, I think it’s safe to say I am unhinged-ish.

After a big disruption last week between Kris and I over my full body and mind struggles, it took me some time to recover. Therapy on Wednesday uncovered some pain I still carry from a comment Kris made, that even though I understand why he said it and what he actually meant (vs. what my brain tried to convince me was true…), it still impacted me deeply. It was a wound that I didn’t even realize was still open nearly a week later when my therapist asked me outright if Kris had apologized. Much to my surprise, he had—more than once—but I wasn’t able to register it. We actually stumbled upon why the wound was still there, exposed and bleeding, but I’m still trying to work that one out fully. I accept that he did indeed apologize and I simply wasn’t able to hear it or I simply forgot because so many other things are fighting for control.

So the next day, after our fight, I heard today’s song. It came as Kris and I were having a text exchange back and forth, helping one another understand what we really meant. I don’t know how everyone communicates, but if face-to-face communication is difficult or you find that you say the thing you didn’t mean or want to say or even believe, but the thought came in and out and you said it, give yourselves permission to use this tool. Not every time. And not permanently. But in the beginning when you are trying to shift how you communicate and find healthier ways to speak during conflict, allowing yourself the time to step back and think more slowly is always going to be a win in my book. Even though Kris and I can now communicate about practically anything face-to-face, we still utilize this when we find ourselves at an impasse in understanding one another. Often it gives me the time to slow my brain down and stop just assuming I know what Kris means. And it allows Kris a safe, quiet place (without my constant need for sound and response) to really figure out how to say what he really wants, in a way that I will hear it. I understand these tips may not work in every situation, especially ones where you are in an abusive or controlling situation. My suggestion is meant for those in safe relationships where both partners are committed to strengthening their communication with their partner.

As Kris and I had the chat dialogue and we were winding down, this song came on and it became an anthem for me that day. God has given us authority and this song is a chant, a war cry for how we should be arming ourselves within and outside of our homes.

So I write this from a place of utter exhaustion and not knowing what the next steps are. I am taking a leave of absence from work that will begin on July 6 and I feel relief—so much relief—and I refuse to let the enemy convince me that the money I am costing our family by not working is what matters. It’s the last thing that should matter right now. If I trust God—and I do—He is asking me to do this. He is telling me that I need this. He has been gently nudging me towards this all year and I recognized a few months ago I was going down. We are choosing to intervene before it gets to a point where I don’t have any choice in what my recovery looks like. I don’t know quite honestly where the money will come from, but I know that it will. This is not a health and wealth post. This is not a name it and claim it. This assurance I have is hard-won and was proven in my life time and time again. When we were asked to sacrifice, we did, and God never once failed to provide what we needed. I know that I know that I know that He will make a way where there seems to be no way.

And because I never want to leave myself in that place of darkness and despair—never again will I willingly walk into despair with open arms—I will fight even when my arms get too tired because I know God will send me a tribe of people who will hold my arms up, who will love me and support me in whatever way God leads them to. So I claim this song, in my pure weariness and as I walk into this next unknown. And I pray that if you are struggling to hold onto hope and if you are a Jesus follower, I urge you to make this your battle cry. Maybe you can’t stand. Maybe you can’t even get out of bed. God has given us authority to push back the enemy who wants to keep you stuck in despair and darkness.

Fight from the victory, because it was already won for you! I’m right here in the fight with you!!

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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I’m sharing this from a place of weakness, of vulnerability, of feeling utterly raw and torn up inside and out.

Hearing this song in my despair soothes me. It is a balm to the open wounds I have around abandonment, being too much, and being selfish. I have worked so hard in the last four years to understand myself, my trauma, who I am in Christ, and how I move in the world. I have learned to put myself aside, for the sake of another. I became a caregiver when I was wholly unqualified to take care of myself, much less another human being. It required me to be anything but selfish. I have done so much work in this area, learning to be less so others can have room in the relationship. And yet somehow, I am still confronted with people telling me I am selfish for how I have gone about healing. And last night, I heard my husband say in a moment of frustration that he had a passing thought that I made his cancer all about me. And even though he was solely talking in the context of me saying that perimenopause and his cancer diagnosis happened at the same time (and of course I interpreted that to mean I was the worst and most selfish caregiver that could ever exist!), it completely devastated me. It was said from a place of pain, his own wound, and not based in reality. He was able to articulate last night (and more this morning) that he doesn’t actually think that and he can acknowledge how God has changed me and how I have grown in this area; and today he even reassured me that he absolutely understood how hard this wilderness has been for both of us. But last night when he spoke it, it pulled at a thread, at a wound that is still so painful and openly oozing with disease.

So today, I’m just playing this song on repeat, as I sit with everything I am overwhelmed by. It’s enough to just pray these words to the One who sees me and truly knows who I am and how I have grown through surrender and selflessness. The lies the enemy has sowed run deep. Years of trying to break free have only loosened the grip they have on me. The enemy loves to use our deepest insecurities against us. When you have spent years fighting against your own selfishness, there is nothing more devastating than hearing that word thrown back at you—especially when you are just trying to find a way to heal. The enemy doesn’t even have to lift a finger when we let those words anchor into our souls.

And last night, my husband became a tool of the enemy to push the wound deeper, just as he used me to poke at my husband’s wounds. I’m too exhausted to share more of it—though I might talk about it Saturday on the podcast—and we are in a better place, having repaired wounds we both caused and/or reopened last night. I just want to let this song wash over me, and I pray that if you are in a hard place right now that this song can bring you the peace is gives to me.

Shared hope is sometimes the best gift you can give.

Also, this may or may not become a new design for my Etsy store!

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

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I can’t quit my day job unless we find a way to compensate my income. We’ve been really considering my body, my mental health, and the future. The end goal is for me to quit my job. I currently work 35 hours a week, but starting in January, I will give up my full-time benefits to drop down to part-time. It isn’t that I don’t want to work. It is about finding a path for me to do ministry—to write, to design, to create—and try to build a business supported by God, all while protecting my degenerating spine and my sometimes floundering mental health. Initially I thought I would have to keep my day job, at least 10-15 hours a week, but Kris showed me how we can adjust some things, tighten up the budget a bit, and help me transition sooner than I ever dreamed possible.

While Kris was doing this in secret, waiting intentionally to surprise me with the good news over our anniversary, I felt God giving me ideas. Ways to generate income that doesn’t require me to sit upright at a computer or involve a lot of standing and walking around, all of which put strain on my spine. I didn’t know why I was having all of these ideas and seeing a vision to possibly supplement our income, but as we talked, it quickly became clear that God was giving me a path to not only move into full-time ministry, but also hopefully a way to support the ministry. Sitting down and mapping it out renewed my drive to pursue this ministry. As I have said from the beginning, this publication will always be free to subscribe.

In addition to my promoting my devotional Voyage With Purpose: A Wayfinder’s Journey—written through a season where God used the movie Moana to show me how to really see people and sit with them in their pain—I am launching a shop with original tshirt designs, perhaps some of my artwork, and anything else the Lord puts on my heart to offer. It is in the beginning stages, but I see the vision and I am excited to continue pursuing this dream.

Here is a sneak peek of a couple of the designs I will be offering. While your support through the shop is not required, if you want to partner in this ministry with me financially, this will be an alternative. I can’t wait to see how God continues to grow The Weight of Stillness and opens the way to move fully into ministry.

I have several others I have created and many, many more in my brain surrounding mental health, perimenopause, CPTSD, and chronic pain/illness and I can’t wait to share them with you. I would love to hear your thoughts!

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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Respected Trunk

Emaciated Judgment

This one is probably my favorite one so far, in terms of the concept. It’s me, literally anytime I go to the grocery store. They tell you not to shop hungry. This is the reason why!

Jamie

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If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

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Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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Share the hope: If this message touched your heart, please share it with someone who needs it. You never know who in your life is waiting to hear that they are loved, valued, and worthy of grace.

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The Weight of Stillness is a reader-supported ministry.

There will never be a paywall blocking you from full access to what God is teaching me as I embrace stillness. But if you are led to donate to this ministry God is birthing out of my journey, you can become a paid subscriber.

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But I keep pressing forward, I hold my head above the water, and I trust in the One who will not let me drown.

the mighty willow

i feel the rain
a steady rhythm
each drop pounding
to match the cadence
of the throbbing
in my joints

the beauty of it all
the glistening landscape
the rhythmic drumming
as it hammers the roof
then cascades off
into shimmering pools
on the ground beneath

thunder bellows
cracking the sky
shaking the walls
as new ripples of pain
cascade inside my body
coursing through my spine

such beauty and power
colliding head on
nourishing the earth
torturing my body

the rain beckons
come and rest
the ache wins out

choosing life
i shift my gaze
looking up
begging for grace
i fight back
grasping for peace
and i endure

i may not discover
who i once was
before the pain
leeched the life away
i may live my days
in a broken body
battered by storms

but i’ll still be standing
like a mighty willow
bent and bowed
as seasons keep changing
i’ll weather it all
kept by his grace
held with his love

Sending love and prayers for gentle days ahead to everyone fighting a silent battle today. May His grace keep you, and may His love hold you close.

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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• Share the hope: If this message touched your heart, please share it with someone who needs it. You never know who in your life is waiting to hear that they are loved, valued, and worthy of grace.

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There’s an ancient oak tree, 
A priceless work of art, 
Sculpted just to be 
A balm for a heavy heart.

He frames the home that we call ours, 
A quiet haven for all to rest, 
Where mercy grows beneath his towers, 
And we know we’re deeply blessed.

He rises vast and proud, 
A hovering, holy giant, 
His limbs are deeply bowed
Protective, strong, defiant.

His quiet looming never frightens; 
He’s steadily anchored in grace
Sunlit leaves unfurling titans 
Twisting time in their embrace.

A thousand stories still to be told, 
As lifetimes pass into history, 
He weaves a crown of green and gold 
Into this shimmering canopy.

His fingers paint a tapestry 
Upon the tranquil air, 
A shield from storm and summer glare, 
A sacred act of care.

To sit beneath this ancient shade
I feel the chaos ease
My heavy burdens start to fade
As I’m embraced by tender peace

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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It could have been much worse.

Will I have a bruise on my left arm?

Yeah, for sure.

Was it amusing?

Probably—I didn’t see it.

Could I resist the urge to turn it into a Haiku?

I could not.

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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In case you didn’t know, or need a refresher, a Haiku works off of syllables vs word count.

• First line = 5 syllables

• Second line = 7 syllables

• Last line = 5 syllables

A Tanka is when you want to write a Haiku, but you feel a little more wordy. You start out with a regular Haiku, then add two more lines, each one having 7 syllables.

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

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• Share the hope: If this message touched your heart, please share it with someone who needs it. You never know who in your life is waiting to hear that they are loved, valued, and worthy of grace.

Here is my submission, in sketch form of course. I often go with the first image that comes to my mind when I see the prompt, so this is what today’s “Dull Scandal” yielded…I kind of like this one!

What ideas do you have for this prompt? Feel free to join Dacia and I and share your writing or drawings.

Jamie

Let’s Stay Connected

If this spoke to your heart, there are a few quick ways you can support my ministry:

• Subscribe: Hit the subscribe button here on Substack so you never miss a post or podcast episode. It is always free to subscribe. If you want to support my ministry with a financial donation, you are welcome to do that as well.

• Follow along: You can find me on Instagram @theweightofstillness for daily encouragement, behind-the-scenes thoughts, and community.

• Share the hope: If this message touched your heart, please share it with someone who needs it. You never know who in your life is waiting to hear that they are loved, valued, and worthy of grace.
  

  Share The Weight of Stillness

Jamie

I have four kids, and they are all over 20. This year they will be 21, 24, 25, and 26. It has been such an amazing journey, watching them grow up into full-fledged adults living on their own, making their own decisions, getting married, getting divorced, ending relationships, starting new ones, getting mental health diagnoses, buying homes, buying cars they can go on long trips with, moving out. There has been pain and tension, but so much joy and growth along the way, for all of us.

And now I’m on the edge of empty-nesting. Our youngest will soon be moving out to Chesterfield, about 30 minutes away from us. When we moved into this house, Vi was the only one that moved with us. This dream home we have been in for over 3 years now began with me, Kris, Vi, and Dobby the House Schnoodle of course. Not only was Vi the only kid that moved with us, their friend Leo moved in with us just months after we did. So, the house has been full-ish.

And now, we are facing a new adventure. A 2600 sq foot house, holding just me, my husband, and my aging dog. And I can’t stress enough that I am absolutely excited for this next step in the journey. Kris and I went from being 19 and married, to 25 with 4 babies faster than any sane person does that doesn’t have twins or triplets. We have been raising kids (our own plus a few bonuses along the way) for nearly 26 years. Over half of our lives have been spent being parents. Prior to that, we were the kids being parented.

We grew up with our kids, essentially. Literally, spiritually, figuratively. So there is this sense of…I don’t know…confusion maybe surrounding this. It’s not a sadness. I love watching my kids open their wings and take off. It’s just an acknowlegment that life is going to change. Maybe not in huge, dramatic ways. But it will shift. And like with anything new, there’s a certain degree of trepidation. Just stepping into the unknown is a bit scary. But 2026 is the year of trying new things. And it looks like empty-nesting will be one of those new things. So I will face it like I have everything else. With bravery, with courage, and just the same amount of fear that I am handing over to Jesus.

And as I place the fear in Jesus’ capable hands, I’m left with these thoughts on what it means to be a mother who is always awake:

not ours to keep

moms are always on
even in the deepest sleep
we stay on alert

eyes and ears open
instinct takes a steady hold
you keep us awake

we never fully
lower the defenses held
to protect your heart

you live outside of
the body we grew you in
one heart beats in two

we bend and we break
standing ever ready to
give up our last breath

to keep you from harm
if it saves your precious life
we step in and hold

your hand, every hope
never pausing for a thought
loyalty is fierce

fierce as mama bears
we will always reach for you
as the seasons turn

we watch you with awe
you are becoming yourself
as pride overflows

as you choose and build
the slow blossoming begins
your life opens up

to a whole new world
alive with a bright purpose
toward the future you

embark on a path
stretching far away from us
we watch as you leave

awake and with hope
trusting you will find your way
as you sail away

on your own journey
we are whispering a prayer
asking god for peace

we have to let go
though the ache is heavy now
learning to let be

we loosen our grip
setting you free to move on
you’re not ours to keep

but our love remains
it will always be waiting
for you to come home

Jamie

a mouthful of lies

browsing for things

on the web

is a chore

before i can enter

this thing always happens

a thing i abhor

i’m offered a cookie

and the words

don’t make sense

do i accept them all

or say no instead

the decision itself is making me tense

this cold-heart cookie

cannot satisfy

no butter, no sugar

no chocolate inside

its very existence 

it feels like a lie

it fills me with rage

as i just want to see

the billowing waves of the ocean 

your nonsense and lies

i hate you so much

you’ve gotten me angry all over again

My husband thought I would do a better job. Perhaps he thought it would be very dainty and evenly split. Perhaps he thought my hands could do what a knife could.

They could not. If ever something was "man-handled" it was this sandwich!

Jamie

Let’s be real.

As a woman, shaving is the worst!!

So much effort, and the second you get cold, it’s like you didn’t even shave at all.

Ugh…

I’m kind of digging putting my every day silly annoyances into a haiku…

Jamie

This was my mood this morning, as I began my work shift.

I was already over it before I even started.

Jamie

I imagine it was the menopausal insomnia and my brain needing another creative outlet. Now I have decided to just take the things that annoy me or don’t make sense and turn them into haikus.

I haven’t written a haiku since…high school…? I am a rule follower, so I can understand why this format is soothing to my brain.

5-7-5 - just follow the rules.

Thank you, poetry. I shall.

Here is the first one.

Jamie