“He who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.” — James 4:17
In 2012, I was a woman running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction. I was living a double life, tucked away under the “shadow of the steeple,” terrified that if the light ever hit my secret, I would disintegrate.
But God has a way of sending invitations we can’t ignore. For me, it was a song on the radio that I hadn’t heard in seven years. It was a song that forced me to look at my “scarlet letter” and realize that the only way out was through the truth.
In this episode of The Screening Room, I’m reading the very first blog post I ever wrote about my affair. This wasn’t the “polished” version I’ve told in small groups or the women’s prison in Vandalia since. This was the raw, trembling “Day 1” where I decided to stop being a lofty person and start becoming a healed person.
In this audio reflection:
The moment I realized “The Brace” of my secret was killing me.
Why James 4:17 became the scariest verse in the Bible to me.
The “Seven Year” God-wink that brought me home.
Why the “Ugly Truth” is better than a beautiful lie.
An invitation for anyone currently running to finally stop and be seen.
This is the prologue to my Undoing. If you are carrying a secret today, I hope my 2012 self can give you the courage to step into the light.
I’m breathing through this with you. See you in the stillness,
Jamie
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