If you’ve spent your life holding your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop, or trying to perform or perfect your way into God’s grace, you’re in the right place.
My name is Jamie, and for years, I lived under the weight of a secret. I was a lofty person with a hidden life, bracing against my own history until the weight became too much to carry. The Weight of Stillness is the result of what happened when I finally stopped running and let the light hit the messy parts. It is also a way to chronicle my ongoing journey towards stillness, which seems to have a lot more to do with surrender than rest.
As we journey together through this space, you can expect a mix of deep reflection, hard unlearning, and intentional connection:
Heart & Life Essays: Deep dives into whatever is unfolding in my life or week. Sometimes I’ll be processing therapy sessions in real time. Other times I’ll look at the books, movies, or native plants that inspire me, or write about the topics that challenge me, interest me, or break my heart.
Laughter & Line Art: Creative joy and a bit of fun. I picked up the drawing pencil after thirty-plus years of believing I was no good if I couldn’t do it perfectly. In this feature, I let go of the rules and give myself permission to make mistakes. These comics often capture the antics of our senior Schnoodle, Dobby, funny family moments with my husband and four kids, or the sheer nonsense that perimenopause brain fog brings into my life—a phenomenon I affectionately call The “Menopaussum” Strikes Again.
*Artistic Note: Portions of the initial compositions for the illustrations were created with the assistance of generative AI. All final linework, detailing, and artistic rendering were completed by hand, by me.
Poetry: typically free verse, as the rules kept me away from poetry for over 30 years as well.
Worship & Music: Music is my favorite form of connection with Jesus. I love to share the songs that have wrecked me, motivated me, challenged me, or urged me to seek God even deeper.
The Podcast: A deep exercise in personal bravery. I have always struggled to embrace my own voice—worrying it was too raspy or too much. But I am stepping into hard things anyway, because maybe someone else out there needs to hear a real voice speaking through the trials, traumas, mistakes, and blessings that define a life.
T he Weight of Stillness is a reader-supported ministry.
There will never be a paywall blocking you from full
access to what God is teaching me as I embrace
stillness. But if you are led to donate to this ministry
God is birthing out of my journey, you can become a
paid subscriber.
